Wednesday, March 11, 2009
My past..my present...my future.....
Where do I even begin with my past...as some people know I lived a very gray life. I walked the fence between darkness and light. I was being pulled from one side to the other. I thought I was ok. I thought I knew it all. I didn't. I could no longer "straddle the fence" I had to decide on what side I wanted to be on. I was with this guy for a long time who battled with alcohol and drugs. He himself was back and forth from dark to light. He went to rehab and when he came out, he gave me an option..I give up my ways or he was gone. I gave up my ways and still today I have not turned back. We started going to church. He became distant and stopped going. Our relationship ended. I continued to go to different churches to find where I fit. I was head strong about living my life right. That is one thing I can thank this person for doing. He helped me get into the right path even though I sometimes slipped. Because of him I was was saved and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour
After our relationship ended, I started to see his friend. Thought it would be different but wasn't. I slacked off going to church and slowly was slipping back. Things were going down hill and I didn't see it. I became pregnant and lost the baby. I always felt like God was telling me something then- the guy I was with lived a very dark yet colorful life. I could not do this anymore. I needed to get my life back together. I started going back to church and became more involved. The more I went the more I learned that how I was living wasn't the way I should. When I would tell him what I was learning he called it a "worship obsession". No my dear its called Get right or get left! I could not live my life in this. All the things I had faith in was being compromised...No way could this be! Finally, after a year that relationship ended. I can't thank you enough, Lord!!!!!!! Enough said on that!
My present life....is the most awesome life I could have! I was baptized on February 1st and life is good. God is good! All the time! I love my job! I love my family! I love my friends! I love God! My life keeps getting better each day. I am fixing my house up and enjoying doing new things to it. So much! Zach is doing very well in school. I spend a lot of time living my life. I go out with friends and have a great time without feeling I am being compromised. I have positive people and things in my life. I don't cry myself to sleep at night anymore. I don't let anything worry me like I did and I sure as heck don't let anyone stand in my way. I'm not the girl you knew a couple of years go..in fact I am not the girl you knew a few months ago either! I am a work in progress. ...growing in the light of God. No need to complain about anything cause God is going to take care of this girl! I am so glad I gave my life, soul and my mind to God. I would not have it any other way. I attend church faithfully. I got to Sunday school and Bible study on Wednesday nights. I am truly blessed! Thank you, God! So much to say for my present life and not enough room.
For my future...it's looking brighter everyday! God holds my fate and he knows what is best for me. God, whatever your will.....I shall follow!
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV