Rainy Days....

Since Friday is has been raining. Not that I am complaining. Sometimes I love to see the rain fall. When its cold and rainy out there is nothing like a good movie or book, a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. I love during the summer when it pours down and the sun is shining. Beautiful! No matter the weather I praise God. I am thankful that I am able to feel the raindrops on my skin and here the rain beating down on the roof.
I am working on a new project- sewing curtains for my room. last year I painted my room this awful pink color- Pink Sky as Ralph Lauren calls it...well let's just say it gets old QUICK!! I am going to paint it Oatmeal- a nice beige color that will allow anything to go with it. Wish me luck!
Tonight they had movie/game night at church for the kids. Zach loved it. I am glad there is somewhere he can go that is positive. He has made new friends there and loves going. God is good- All the time!

My past..my present...my future.....

Where do I even begin with my past...as some people know I lived a very gray life. I walked the fence between darkness and light. I was being pulled from one side to the other. I thought I was ok. I thought I knew it all. I didn't. I could no longer "straddle the fence" I had to decide on what side I wanted to be on. I was with this guy for a long time who battled with alcohol and drugs. He himself was back and forth from dark to light. He went to rehab and when he came out, he gave me an option..I give up my ways or he was gone. I gave up my ways and still today I have not turned back. We started going to church. He became distant and stopped going. Our relationship ended. I continued to go to different churches to find where I fit. I was head strong about living my life right. That is one thing I can thank this person for doing. He helped me get into the right path even though I sometimes slipped. Because of him I was was saved and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour
After our relationship ended, I started to see his friend. Thought it would be different but wasn't. I slacked off going to church and slowly was slipping back. Things were going down hill and I didn't see it. I became pregnant and lost the baby. I always felt like God was telling me something then- the guy I was with lived a very dark yet colorful life. I could not do this anymore. I needed to get my life back together. I started going back to church and became more involved. The more I went the more I learned that how I was living wasn't the way I should. When I would tell him what I was learning he called it a "worship obsession". No my dear its called Get right or get left! I could not live my life in this. All the things I had faith in was being compromised...No way could this be! Finally, after a year that relationship ended. I can't thank you enough, Lord!!!!!!! Enough said on that!
My present life....is the most awesome life I could have! I was baptized on February 1st and life is good. God is good! All the time! I love my job! I love my family! I love my friends! I love God! My life keeps getting better each day. I am fixing my house up and enjoying doing new things to it. So much! Zach is doing very well in school. I spend a lot of time living my life. I go out with friends and have a great time without feeling I am being compromised. I have positive people and things in my life. I don't cry myself to sleep at night anymore. I don't let anything worry me like I did and I sure as heck don't let anyone stand in my way. I'm not the girl you knew a couple of years go..in fact I am not the girl you knew a few months ago either! I am a work in progress. ...growing in the light of God. No need to complain about anything cause God is going to take care of this girl! I am so glad I gave my life, soul and my mind to God. I would not have it any other way. I attend church faithfully. I got to Sunday school and Bible study on Wednesday nights. I am truly blessed! Thank you, God! So much to say for my present life and not enough room.
For my future...it's looking brighter everyday! God holds my fate and he knows what is best for me. God, whatever your will.....I shall follow!
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

A work in progress

Life has been a challenge for all of us. I have learned to put God first in all I do and He will lead me. Without Him I am nothing...My faith in God has grown so strong. I praise You in the good as well as the bad, Lord. Give me strength and lead me to your will.

Psalm 27:

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

² When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh, ^a]">[a]
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

³ Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

⁵ For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.

⁶ Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.

⁸ My heart says of you, "Seek his ^b]">[b] face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.

¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.

¹¹ Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.

¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.

¹³ I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success. Proverbs 3: 5-6.

A letter to you...

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Jeremiah 1:5

My dear little one,
June 19, 2009 will be a year since I lost you. My heart still grieves. I remember the day I took the pregnancy test and saw I was pregnant. I was scared..excited...all the above other than being selfish like your father- I was having a baby! My first appt was on June 19, 2008, I was alone. I looked at you on the ultrasound and could see the buds where your arms and your legs were developing and I could see the little black dots where your eyes were going to be but there was no heartbeat. My heart broke into a million pieces. You had passed in early development. I was all alone to go through losing you. My heart ached, I wanted to feel something else besides hurt. You were my baby!I have forgiven your father for all the mean things he said and how he wanted me to abort you or give you up. I have forgiven him for everything but I know he will have to ask for forgiveness himself. You were not going to be kept a secret like I was from everyone. You were mine, my baby. You were due around January 19th of this year. You would be in my arms if you were here. I know someday I will get to see you and hold you. I have asked God why would He take you from me. I still have no answer..Someday I will know why and I know things happen for a reason- God makes no mistakes. When I tried to talk to your father he brushed me off. I asked him how did he cope with it and he replied I try not to think about it. I cannot help to think about you! It has gotten better but I still wonder what you would have looked like and what you would have been- a boy or girl. The help of others and the church has gotten me through a lot. Your father may not have wanted you but I did! Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. This year I am going to plant a yellow rose in your memory. Your father gave me an angel charm and told me it was his version of the rose. Even though your father was selfish and mean I wear it in memory of you. I want you to know I love you and I can't wait to see you someday. I know you are in the safest place anyone can be and you are in better hands. I love you my lil angel!!!!
Love,
Mommy

Walking in a spider web

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive”

-Sir Walter Scott

Do you ever wonder why people have to lie in order to be who they are? Can we not be ourselves instead of telling lies to make ourselves seem better than we are? If someone cannot love you for who you are then they do not deserve you. When God created each of us he made us to be who we are and not someone else. I should never have to change my life for someone in order to be liked or to be loved and neither should someone have to put on a show for me either. If we continue to deceive ourselves then it becomes a habit and we dig ourselves deeper into a world of lies to the point it will be a great struggle to climb out. Just remember God made you in the image of Himself. You are who you are- you are a child of God. Do not lower yourself just to be loved and don't put yourself higher than you are. If God loves you for you then someone can love you for you!!!!!

Busy as a Bee...

What's the BUZZ on me lately? As some of you know, I can go on these tangents..well..... I was watching a movie called "The Secret Life of Bees". Looking at this movie made me think about my dream of becoming a bee keeper. YES!! I'm for real! I am researching the topic and this is something I would love to do. I am looking in the local area for people who are already beekeepers so I can watch what goes on and so forth. I know you have to take classes and get certified. I think this would really be fun! Wouldn't it be nice to have fresh honey...YUMMMM!!!! Did you know Honey is a natural antibiotic?? Yeap! Honey is healthy and can be used for a lot of things as well as for eating. This would be a good hobby and would keep me busy. We will see.... Of course, with everything- I pray. Lord, if it is your will..let it be.
Proverbs 24:13-14 My son, eat thou honey, because it is good; and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste: So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.

Dinner with the girls..

I haven't been out with a group in a long time and tonight I had the chance to join in with some of my church family to enjoy some Grinder's! We had soooo much fun! So stuffed! So ready for bed...Its very nice to go out with positive people. That is what I need in my life- Positive people! I don't need all this drama..tending to my business stuff. I do have something to say..I think God may be answering a prayer of mine...I will not tell til I know for sure...Sorry this is between me and God right now...(lips are sealed).

Winter Wonderland

So far in Lancaster, SC it has snowed three times. It hasn't been as bad as the news was making it as always. The amazing thing is it is suppose to be in the high 60's this weekend. Not complaining because God knows what He is doing. God is good- Everyday! Maybe this weekend I can go to Mauldin, SC to this awesome Bakery Shoppe called Gretchen's. I have started to bake cakes, cookies, and other stuff and need some more supplies. Luckily, I was able to enjoy the snow with family and friends. I posted some pics to go along with the story. Me and Alison got a picture taken in front of one of the holly bushes at work on the 2nd snow. The other pic is the 3rd snow. I am so wanting to learn to snow ski!!! As of now, I will sit back and enjoy..that way I can't get hurt. As with everyday, we should thank God we are alive and no matter what the weather praise Him! "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow" (Isa 1:18)